More potty talk

Ok, we've had some major potty training developments in the last week and I need some feedback. Mia has been in "big girl underwear" all week. A big shout out to daycare because this would not be the case without them. We tried over the weekend and had a great 1/2 day Friday and a very unsuccessful Saturday and then gave up on Sunday deciding to revisit it in a month or so. However, Monday morning she wanted to wear underwear to daycare and I said fine knowing she generally does better at daycare. She had one poop accident the first two days and no accidents today and has only been in diapers at night. So, we are happy with the start, but... this is in a daycare environment that is very structured.

The catch is she is NOT telling us she has to go. We ask if she has to go or we just put her on, and she goes. But... I don't considered it potty trained until she can tell us she has to go. Right? At what point should she be telling us she has to go? I know with most kids it would be by now. Is there anything we can do to encourage her to tell us? Does this mean she isn't really ready and we are just getting lucky with her going when we ask and staying dry the rest of the time?

Also, I know for some kinds it is harder to master poop on the potty. Anyone have any experience with kids being potty trained to pee, but not to poop. I can't believe I've typed the word "poop" so much in this entry. This is my life now I guess!

Do I even dare bring it up?

Potty training. Ugh. My daughter will be 3 in about a month and things are basically at a standstill. She was making progress during the Winter and then things stopped. She basically became afraid of the whole process and the dr. said to follow her cues. She has sat on the potty a few times since her baby brother arrived in May with limited success. We tried the m&m ("letter candy") method as incentive - but it doesn't seem to help. If I mention it to her - she says she will try "tomorrow" - and then never does. We have the Once Upon a Potty book, the Mr. Rogers potty book, Everyone Poops. She loves reading them - but they don't seem to have any influence. I also bought her a potty chart and she likes to look at it - and says she'll use it when she is a "big girl" on her birthday. She doesn't even want to take the stickers out of the package. Luckily her pre-school does not require the kids to be potty trained - she starts after Labor Day - but I'd love her to be on track by then. Advice? Do I really just follow her cue? Thanks in advance!